i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
