If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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