i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
