That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
