We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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