When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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