there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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