He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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