Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
