He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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