How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
