They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
