my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
