I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
how drunk are you?
Several
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
