I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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