Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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