We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
