K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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