so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
