I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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