quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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