a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
