What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
