I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
