Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
