is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
