you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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