Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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