i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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