Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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