So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
