how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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