think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
