its not stalking. its research.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
