On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
