I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
