I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
