Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
