what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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