foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
