Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Your cock deserves a montage
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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