Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
