They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
