Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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