don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
