After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
