she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I love you.
Bad choice
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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