I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
operation harelip BJ is a go
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
