After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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