I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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