Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
