currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
