Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
