Can Purell be used as lube?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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