after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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